Okay, here is a book...or at least a chapter in it. Our country was not founded on the fact that we wanted freedom for all...especially religious freedom. That was a byproduct of the real point of the U.S., that we were to have to best system of government in the entire world.

So whether it happened only when public education became the norm or perhaps it was happenign before, but a system was put in place to teach that the founding fathers got it right and now we all reap the benefits of that. Well history has already proved that our system of government does not make people more peaceful, kind, or godly. So even our educations system began to promote a new hope, the corporation. That money success and capitalism will be the system that makes us more free.

Fortunately I think many are recognizing that these are failing. As we examine the nation we are, it is hard to not smirk hearing about us being a 'Christian Nation'. Our hope is in the Gospel alone. Maybe these thoughts are unfounded, or my lack of serious data to back them up allows them to be easily dismissed. But if they make any sense at all, then I have great reason to be thankful for cleaning our toilet for these are the things I think about why I do it.

Aidyn and I decided to have a Luau the other day. I thought this picture is pretty funny so wanted to post it.

The Spirit Moves: Handbook of Dance and Prayer, was written by Carla De Sola. My wife Karin has had the priviledge of dancing wit Carla and her Company, Omega West, on a number of occasions in worship. While I have not read the book yet myself, Karin and I have discussed some of it, today I felt very blessed by our discussion already.

Each week in preparation for our Tenebrae service, Sunday nights, I work through creating a liturgy. This involves understand of theme, composition, and also that which God would be honored in. Carla in her book speaks of the Liturgist, the person who designs and/or the person who reads it in the service, as an artist. Immediately I asked if Karin would consider one day being that for me, of course integrating dance in worship regularly, but also with her gifting related to literature and writing she would be perfect. Yet today, as I had a number of books surrounding me and I was reading some beautiful prayers, connecting with them, and to the Spirit, I remembered to view my role, "as an artist". That was inspiring, and I thought what a blessing to be able to surround myself with so many voices giving glory to God.

Disappointment. One of the hardest things for me to imagine about heaven is that it will not disappoint. That seems to be such a part of this life. We are promised so much and nothing lives up to it. Just yesterday I experience severe disappointment, so much so I felt like a child. For an entire week I had been looking foward to a day game at the Colesium, where the Oakland A's were playing the Boston Red Sox and tickets are only $2.00. The entire week I was excited and I was even taking Aidyn (who loves to go to baseball games with her father). Yesterday morning I went online to confirm that tickets were still available, and they were not. As a matter of fact there were no $2.00 because this year they changed the stadium. The other tickets were $8.00 and then $30.00, and we do not have the money for them. Aidyn was easy to deal with, she had earned a free ice cream in her summer reading program. We went to Ben & Jerry's and cashed in. Yet it was not so easy for me. I was profoundly disappointed. Disappointed with not getting to see baseball, disappointed with not spending that special time with my daughter, disappointed that I do not have the resources to get into that game, profoundly disappointed to be me, and profoundly disappointed with the One who made me. In thinking about it I am disppointed often, yet as an adult I have learned to ignore it or hope for less. Yesterday I returned to being a child. And now I hear the whisper of Jesus saying come to me for to you belongs the kingdom of heaven.

Apologies for limits in language. I have no problem with using inclusive language in my regular everyday speech. When it comes to translating the Bible with inclusive language, it get fish because what was written for us often was not inclusive language but rather a use of the masculine to stand for both the masculine and the feminine.

Yet now that I have been ministering in the Bay Area for three years, I cringe reading scriptures that do not have inclusive language. Not because they are not true but because they have become a battle cry for many as a symbol of male dominance and subjectation of women. Both are things I am opposed to. So maybe offering a disclaimer on the bulletin? *the language of used in the Bible may seem antiquated but does not reflect a low view of women*

Hopefully my confession and apology is enough and I may go on and live in the freedom of the Gospel.

Motivating God's people to do God's work. Bibically the case is often made that a pastor's job is to pray and preach the Gospel. I fully agree with that and wonder if motivating God's people to do God's work is not part of the calling as well. 1 Peters 2:9, But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood...

Often time people expect the pastor to do the work of the priesthood, that's not biblical. We are all in this together. What I am realizing is that motivating people is much harder than I realize. Some just do it like a dictator would, hopefully they are benevolent, but they get things done. Others only move forward with consensous, that seems just as wrong in my book. So how do we do it?

The answer is obviously the Gospel. So let me talk more about that. At first for me that means serving the way Jesus served. He washed feet, he even gave his life for those he loved. We need to be doing that, but what happens when we do it and look around and see that we are the only one washing feet? Yes, there are times that it is okay to be the only one. Remember, Don't let the right hand know what the left hand is doing. Alright, but Jesus did not do his ministry alone.

So we spend time with people. This is discipleship, teaching, training, but also spending time with people. There are those in my congregation who are motivated by calling them and telling them I have a project for them, tell them what it is, and then what time to show up. They respond and love that. Others need to have their hand held, be listen to, they need to feel valued more than anything in their work.

What challenges me the most is when it is a task that needs a large amount of people to pull off. A 'church wide' commitment. Last week we pulled one of these off in our Art Camp and it was wonderful. Not because I'm so good, but because the right people got into the right positions. Now I am wrestling through what the next step is after this camp. I have thoughts, ideas, and vision, but could never ever do it on my own. So how do you motivate people? Much more challenging. I am trying, will probably offend some, but hopefully the Holy Ghost has already gone before me and people will already be walking in that direction.

Small is not the S-Word as we commonly think of it. Yet when it comes to starting a church, especially if you are still starting it six years into it, small is a dirty word.

The first night of our Art Camp, I used the that dirty little word in a sentence with the father of one of the children that does not go to our church, to describe our church. It was used without shame or excuse but as a matter of fact. Something like, "This is quite a lot of work for us to put on since we are a small congregation of people. " Just this morning I realized that God has placed us here. There is a coorporate shame involved with being in our small church. Sometimes it is discouraging that there are just as many frustrated evangelicals in our community that were once a part of our church as there are in our church...actually there are more that out there that were once a part of our church than are in our church.

You know what is amazing though? That when I say small to evangelicals, they look away, in their heart they ask "Well, what's wrong with them?" When I say it to people who are not in the church, they don't blink. Perhaps that is because it means that God has a place for them in our church, and the work of the Holy Ghost does not lead them down a negative path? This morning I am encouraged with the 'faith of a mustard seed' picture.

There are wonderful things happening at ANPC with our Summer Art Camp. I will be sending out an email update to let you all know more about what we are up to. This morning though I am engaged in thinking about Paul's struggle as described in Romans 7:14-20.

The most clear part to me is Paul laying out a struggle. When I write friends or blog or even talk on the phone about struggle, it generally takes alot of untangling in order to make sense of what is underlying my confusion. I am thankful for scripture that is so honest that God would inspire the writer to say...."I do not understand my own actions." Often I will tell people that if our spirituality means anything we will be changed. The nature of what that change looks like can be very confusing, at least it seems to be for Paul.

What is at the heart of Paul's struggle in understanding is his own actions. Again not the actions of others, but his own. There is some question if Paul's struggling with his own actions are not a 'picture' or description of a greater struggle, which may be the case, but what I am sure it that the conversation going on in his own head seems to be motivating him. Why do I keep doing what I don't want to do, if I am 'knowing' what is right? Actions are at the core of this discussion. A more theological way of framing the big question I am thinking is, "Does Paul's struggle with his actions, relate to his personal justification or something larger than himself?" Can the answer be yes to both? Any converstation about law and flesh has personal application to me, yet since every person deals with both law (God says there will be a time in which it is written on their heart) and flesh. Or is it just personal and also applying to the people of God (for it is God's people who will have the law written on their hearts [is that Israel?]? Needless to say I need further thought on the subject.

Yesterday I had lunch with a friend. This friend has recently come to faith and unsurprisingly still has many struggles. So he is not someone who has bought the entire Christian thing hook line and sinker, but he loves the Gospel. For the second time he has gone to a small group only to be left frustrated, vowing never to go back. Each time the same thing happened. Some social or political issue would come up, a conservative stance would be talked about and assumed by those talking to be the shared consensous of the group. Even the language that was used made him feel like he had to be a part, "of the George W. Bush party."

Now I know this group. Overall they are some of the most progressive, cool Christians you would ever meet. Drop them in any church anywhere else in the country and they are the freaks. Also I know that this friend has issues with groups, so now wonder he feels on the outside. So how do we do it? Without being overly simple or stupid...WE KEEP OUR EYES ON JESUS. Everything else distracts, leads to division, or ends up leading us into mind numbing group think. I said to this friend, small groups often are more like how you would take with our family. You have 30, 40, or even 50 years of history, so you don't have to say anything, everything is already assumed. Most household conversations have to do with passing the milk or picking up salad at the grocery store. It is shocking when you have to sit down and have a ''family meeting" to discuss more serious issues.

I'm amazed that Jesus in the books of the gospels is able to engage people and love them so well. Yes some leave, some are frustrated. Those who are described as the most frustrated are not those who have faith in Jesus or those lacking faith, but rather the religious. It must be a part of human nature to work to make ourselves more comfortable and alienate others? Jesus didn't do that, and he talked about himself all the time. That is going to be my starting point today, with my wife, with my daughter, with anyone who I come in contact with.

John 13:1 Now before the Feast of Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.

The editorial notes here in this part of the story of Jesus life are powerful. There is this sense of climax here, drama, power. Jesus is departing out of this world...that is wild. And it almost seems that we have to be reminded that Jesus did all of this with love on his mind, heart, and in his actions. That to endure any of these last things Jesus went through, including washing the disciples feet, I would do it out of duty rather than love. I would do it because I am supposed to rather than caring about those who are closest to me.

Right now there are some difficult things going on for some of our closest friends. Karin and I seem to be going through alot as well. Looking at it all, the drama, the struggle, the pain involved with this life it is good for me to be reminded that Jesus endured this and much more and all the way through loved. He even loves me as I go through my struggles or as I get beaten up by those I am trying to love.

I really should write more while relaxing, but right now I don't have the means to write away from my house since my laptop is done for. We had a wonderful weekend as a family relaxing in Carmel by the sea. If you are interested in the town, it's name or it's history. Check out Wikipedia, here.

We stayed at the Carmel Valley Ranch Resort. It was an amazing place with two pools (though we never went past the first) and full spa. Friday we took our time driving down and ended up on the 17-mile drive which takes you through scenic Pebble Beach National Park, and home of the U.S. Open for golf. We then spent an hour relaxing on the beach in Carmel, Aidyn and I built a sand castle, then went and checked into our hotel.

The few days we had as a family were wonderful. Uninterrupted conversations with each other, it was like spoiling each other with ourselves (if that makes any sense). We spent most of our time by the pool, we looked to go to the beach one afternoon but it was fogged in so we returned to the pool.

Yesterday we gave Aidyn her final birthday treat, which was a trip to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. We spent about four hours there and it was a blast. Needless to say it was a great end to a fabulous weekend.

In a previous blog I mentioned what I thought was the funniest part of running the marathon and that was the woman asking Jon, my bro-in-law, what was on the plastic boards at the watering station. We said Vaseline, and then had to describe why runners use it. She laughed because she had thought is was 'Gu', which is a protein gel that gives you energy as you ran. She said, "I thought it was oftly unsanitary to just have in on a board like that and then to eat it." Jon and I laughed saying yeah the vaseline flavor probably wouldn't sell to well anyway.

Used for the right purpose Vaseline on a board is great, yet if that is what you want to give you more energy by eating it while running a marathon you are going to be messed up. Last night before communion I said but that is what we do all the time. God has given us plenty in the life to enjoy. The problem is rather than finding our source for energy and life from God's 'Gu', the Gospel, we are eating away at the Vaseline. And we wonder why we are struggling so much to finish the race.

Currently I am working my way through Luke Timothy Johnson's book, The Real Jesus. He is naming many things for me that my people, and people who I come in contact with constantly are struggling with. Spiritual people in the Bay Area want to live like Jesus without all the hang ups of organized religion. Is that even possible? The book offers a pretty clear, no.

No I constantly sense this struggle when I preach in a very simple way and I am still trying to get comfortable with how to handle it. That is referring to passages from the epistles as, 'Paul said...' or 'Peter said...' It seems that so much of this discussion of wanting the spirituality of Jesus without Christianity, set Jesus and Paul directly against each other rather than seeing them as having the same goal. The personalities of the NT writers are so clear the more I read and understand the scriptures, yet by drawing a distinction am I creating a divide that I do not want for my people. Or am I using a point from liberation theology effectively, noting the difference in approach and personality, yet not compromising the united message of the Gospel as presented throughout all of Scripture?