Now that I have returned from a trip back to Maryland two things are really at the front of my mind. The importance of community and the importance of family. While these two are closely related, there are many distinctions, and the importance of each has been impressed upon me.
Normally when I go on a trip I am in fundraising mode the entire time, and when I get home from the trip I am on this high about what we are doing in Oakland. This trip was very different. I spent most of my time with people from Oakland that are outside my church community in Oakland, and some great time with some of my closest friends in all the world. Yet I returned with a sadness in my heart when I got back to Oakland that I am working on identifying. There are two factors that I can identify now. First, two people who I care about very much in Oakland are going through very difficult times. As their pastor I sorrow with them, often too much. The pain they feel I take on, when I do it in a self pity way it is destructive, yet when I do it as Christ did when he wept because Lazarus his best friend died, I think it is healthy. I don't like to see those who I long to embrace the Gospel with such a depth that as the scripture says they are not washed to and fro as if in the waves, but they stand firm upon the rock of Christ. The second reason I believe that my heart is sad is because I did not get to worship with my community. On Sunday I went to Chapelgate which is the church that I because a christian at and grew up in as a christian. It is a huge blessing but I totally feel like I am on the outside because I am not known and I do not know others deeply and intimately. I love to worship with the people at All Nations. This is not a style thing, I enjoy many styles of worship, it is a relationship thing.
Now family is also so important. As I met with one friend who I do not know how he gets through how busy his life is, he told me the stories of what he and his family had gone through. I realized that God has kept them near their extended families because it would be impossible for them to go through what they went through as their parents are 3,000 miles away. Also getting to see two of my aunts that were in town (who I hadn't seen in years) to see my other aunt that has just been diagnosed with cancer, seeing them was great. Sharing stories with them, my parents, and my grandparents. Briefly seeing my brother, all of it made me realize what a sacrifice my calling is. That the financial side of being a missionary is one thing, but to sacrifice, and that is what it is a sacrifice, of family is hard. To hear my friends complain about the hardships of being around family I now listen to with longing. My hope is to return in the fall to try to get the family stories that are held by my grandparents (dad's side) and grandma (mom's side) before they pass.
Normally when I go on a trip I am in fundraising mode the entire time, and when I get home from the trip I am on this high about what we are doing in Oakland. This trip was very different. I spent most of my time with people from Oakland that are outside my church community in Oakland, and some great time with some of my closest friends in all the world. Yet I returned with a sadness in my heart when I got back to Oakland that I am working on identifying. There are two factors that I can identify now. First, two people who I care about very much in Oakland are going through very difficult times. As their pastor I sorrow with them, often too much. The pain they feel I take on, when I do it in a self pity way it is destructive, yet when I do it as Christ did when he wept because Lazarus his best friend died, I think it is healthy. I don't like to see those who I long to embrace the Gospel with such a depth that as the scripture says they are not washed to and fro as if in the waves, but they stand firm upon the rock of Christ. The second reason I believe that my heart is sad is because I did not get to worship with my community. On Sunday I went to Chapelgate which is the church that I because a christian at and grew up in as a christian. It is a huge blessing but I totally feel like I am on the outside because I am not known and I do not know others deeply and intimately. I love to worship with the people at All Nations. This is not a style thing, I enjoy many styles of worship, it is a relationship thing.
Now family is also so important. As I met with one friend who I do not know how he gets through how busy his life is, he told me the stories of what he and his family had gone through. I realized that God has kept them near their extended families because it would be impossible for them to go through what they went through as their parents are 3,000 miles away. Also getting to see two of my aunts that were in town (who I hadn't seen in years) to see my other aunt that has just been diagnosed with cancer, seeing them was great. Sharing stories with them, my parents, and my grandparents. Briefly seeing my brother, all of it made me realize what a sacrifice my calling is. That the financial side of being a missionary is one thing, but to sacrifice, and that is what it is a sacrifice, of family is hard. To hear my friends complain about the hardships of being around family I now listen to with longing. My hope is to return in the fall to try to get the family stories that are held by my grandparents (dad's side) and grandma (mom's side) before they pass.
posted by michaelstevensrev at 12:13 PM
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